Sometimes you gotta let go..........

I'm sitting here broken hearted. Some of you may know, but we don't actually own the Gahagan Family Farm. The proximity to the landfill was making it difficult to secure a loan last summer so the owners of the property were nice enough to let us rent from them while we continued our quest to purchase the farm.  Nine months later, we have gone through every lender in the stinking business and it is pretty much an un-purchasable house. As we kept getting one "No" after another, I always worried in the back of my mind we might lose the farm. Well that worry has officially come true. We are going to have to leave.

I feel foolish now, having poured so much of myself into it, knowing we didn't own it yet. I made my identity about this farm. It is everything to me.

That's what I'm afraid God is teaching me here. I put too much of myself into this farm and not enough of myself into Him. I need to fully trust that He has a different plan for me and that this is all just "stuff" it is not what is important. I do know that logically, but my heart is having a hard time with it for now. I will walk away.

I will hold many memories from the short time we were here. To watch our chickens and cow drive away will be heartbreaking, to walk away from the garden will be heartbreaking. To take one last picture of the seasons changing with the big red barn will be heartbreaking.

 

But I will have the most treasured thing of all with me no matter where I go. My God and my family.

Thank you to all who have enjoyed and supported us through this awesome short journey.

God Bless from The Gahagan Family Farm

Ode to George

Tis' the season! As I'm sure most of you can relate, it has very busy around the farm lately :)
With hubby's work season in full-swing, and the spring time happenings in full-swing, I barely have time to sleep! So here goes my best shot at a blog post.
Tomorrow is a pretty big day for us. It is George the pig's last day here at the farm. We have a gentleman coming out the put him down and take him to the butcher. Our 4-year-old Liam, is doing quite well with it right now. George was "his" pig. He has agreed to let us "raise" him so we can eat him. (He somehow switched the words 'raise' and 'slaughter' in his cute little brain:) I am nervous about how the kids will deal with this being the first time. But I am also excited and ready for them to learn another step in the cycle of life. The reason we started this whole 'farm thing' was so they could learn how it really works. People haven't always had the luxury of going to the grocery store. I don't want my kids to think that is where food comes from. In reality, the food available at the grocery store is terrible for us! (But that's a whole other blog)
This might sound weird, but I am debating on whether or not I want to video this whole thing. Our ultimate goal is to be self-sufficient. Which will include slaughtering and processing our own meat. So it would be an incredible learning experience. I'm not sure how the guy who is coming to do the job tomorrow will react if I ask him if I can tape it! But I might :)
And no, I am not going to let the kids watch. Perhaps later down the road for that lesson!!

For today, we are enjoying spoiling him a few last times with warm slop and mud baths.

Thank you George!! you have been a pleasure to have here on The Gahagan Family Farm! A true gem!