Sometimes you gotta let go..........

I'm sitting here broken hearted. Some of you may know, but we don't actually own the Gahagan Family Farm. The proximity to the landfill was making it difficult to secure a loan last summer so the owners of the property were nice enough to let us rent from them while we continued our quest to purchase the farm.  Nine months later, we have gone through every lender in the stinking business and it is pretty much an un-purchasable house. As we kept getting one "No" after another, I always worried in the back of my mind we might lose the farm. Well that worry has officially come true. We are going to have to leave.

I feel foolish now, having poured so much of myself into it, knowing we didn't own it yet. I made my identity about this farm. It is everything to me.

That's what I'm afraid God is teaching me here. I put too much of myself into this farm and not enough of myself into Him. I need to fully trust that He has a different plan for me and that this is all just "stuff" it is not what is important. I do know that logically, but my heart is having a hard time with it for now. I will walk away.

I will hold many memories from the short time we were here. To watch our chickens and cow drive away will be heartbreaking, to walk away from the garden will be heartbreaking. To take one last picture of the seasons changing with the big red barn will be heartbreaking.

 

But I will have the most treasured thing of all with me no matter where I go. My God and my family.

Thank you to all who have enjoyed and supported us through this awesome short journey.

God Bless from The Gahagan Family Farm